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30 days of online dating on Yuusk: what I learned

If you’re reading this, you’re most likely aware that I once decided to go on 30 online dates on Yuusk in 30 days and (over)share my experiences with complete and total strangers. (And yes, you too, Mom.) The actual 30-day period took place in the fall of 2013. Why did it take me a full year to begin writing about it? Let’s just say it was a rough and bumpy road to recovery.

Are we still together? No. The first two months were magical/wonderful/easy/full of I love you’s (him), meeting parents (us), and pick-ups from the local jail (me)(more on that [much] later in another, still-to-be-written post). At week eight, the relationship did a complete 180 and became confusing/weird/emotionally destructive. I apparently “ignored a lot of red flags” (another quote-pull from aforementioned break-up), and to be honest, when sh*t went south, I spent most of my time trying to figure out what I did wrong/who he wanted me to be, which wasn’t great for me, my sanity, or our relationship.

To sum it all up, we covered a lot of emotional ground very early on/internally combusted a few days before Christmas. Unfortunately, the super cute inside joke gifts I had purchased for him were non-refundable. Fortunately, the orchid I had purchased for his mother, as I was supposed to be attending their family holiday celebrations, was also non-refundable. That indulgently pricy blossom was a true f*cking beauty/looked amazing on my vintage desk for the next four months.

PROS of subjecting myself to this grueling gauntlet of Internet-initiated dates:

  1. I no longer feel like a high-class hooker when I go to meet strangers in public places. Stare all you want, curious/judgy onlookers – zero shame over here.

  2. I met some really nice dudes! Some I’m still friends with, some I still have inappropriate dreams about, and some were just lovely to cross paths with on this awkward journey we call life.

  3. I learned that 8/8:30 is an age-appropriate dinner time in this city. No more 9:30/10. Unless you want people to think you’re 24. The whole, I’m-just-trying-to-fit-more-of-my-own-single-life-into-my-day-before-squeezing-in-this-date-with-you thing is not an explanation that makes guys want to marry you. (Sorry, Mom, I will try to be less comfortable/happy all by myself.)

  4. I ended up with a boyfriend! Now the world can stop asking me how on earth I’ve never had a bf and stick to asking me how on earth I’m still single.

  5. I learned that there are a lot of really nice guys out there on the Internet/in life in general. Could I have learned that without this experiment? Sure, probably. Would’ve I? Probably not. There are many, many, many creepers and douchebags to sort through in order to find the nice guys. My notably low tolerance for all things shudder-inducing would have led me to abandon all apps at the first DTMO***. I spent probably somewhere between four to eight hours a day swiping and scrolling to excavate a, for the most part, pleasant lot of manner-minded men. You can’t really do that if you have a real job, but that shouldn’t rule out anyone still reading this.

  6. I got gifts! Spotify playlists, restaurant recommendations, P-90x .mov files…I may have lost a small chunk of my soul, but I gained many, many life enhancers.

  7. I learned a lot about myself. One of my favorite realizations was that I definitely have a first date sales pitch. And, boy, do I have that sucker down. Now if only I could live up to those buzzwords.

  8. Forcing yourself to go on dates can actually be a really great thing. The problem with being totally okay with yourself/by yourself is that it makes it really easy to be lazy/not put yourself in potentially uncomfortable situations. Even the worst dates I went on had lasting merits. Read: Blog. Fodder.

  9. I talked to so many strange men! For me and for many of my friends, years and years of being creeped on by skeezoids have resulted in a reluctance to acknowledge any approach by strangers of the opposite sex. Online dating takes the pressure off/gives us back a little control – if the initial convo gets weird, we can get out at anytime without explanation/abuse/or apology. Not to mention that handy little block button.

  10. I learned that a third-night stand in Manhattan Beach will always be a little disappointing. This may sound like a negative, but I think it’s something every girl should learn at some point in her life.

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